The chain of events that resulted in the heartbreaking demise of Sylvester Oromoni, a twelve-year old student of Dowen College has inadvertently raised public awareness to the severity of physical dangers that could result from extreme bullying in the school environment. Beyond the hysterical reactions, what could be done to effectively address this societal menace?
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Bullying is among several societal ills that has been a prominent feature of the Nigerian educational system for a very long time; especially at the primary and secondary levels. It has often been downplayed as a trivial and juvenile occurrence that is bound to happen among young children at varying degrees and times but factually; it has proven to always go been beyond the realm of innocent play. Its impact on the psychology and outward demeanor of adolescents often transcends the school environment and leaves traces of reclusiveness, fear and social anxiety in the daily lives of victims who often suffer in silence due to fear of speaking out; while few others who muster the courage to speak out often see their concerns being treated with little attention further adding to their psychological burden. Bullying doesn’t result in fatalities most times; which is one of the major reasons it has continued to fester over the years in the school environment; but there are always exceptions and extreme cases; such as the unfortunate series of events that culminated in the ill-fated and heartrending death of a twelve-year old, Sylvester Oromoni, a student of Dowen College in Lagos State. After the case gained public attention, video clips of Sylvester being bullied physically by fellow students of the college surfaced online which has caused major stir across the social media and traditional media platforms.
The phenomenon of bullying is multi-dimensional and contrary to popular belief, the younger or weaker is not always the victim in every occasion. As a matter of fact, bullying could also be initiated or suffered by either young or old, male or female, superior or inferior as the case may be. Often times, we are quick to label people as bullies or condemn the very act, while unconsciously we could be one. Bullying which has been explained to be seeking to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone perceived as vulnerable can be caused by so many factors. On the general societal outlook, people can get bullied because of factors like age, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, educational level, financial status, physical appearance, disability or religious leanings.
Moreover, bullying as a condemnable act occurs in different forms and can be categorized into types based on the model or medium used. Direct bullying involves direct contact with the one being bullied while indirect bullying may not. An example of direct bullying would be throwing something at a person, or yelling hurtful words at them. An example of indirect bullying might be spreading false and damaging rumours about a classmate, friend or even a superior. Cyberbullying is another type of bullying that happens through using the internet and it can be through the use of hurtful comments or spread of deceptive information about someone. Emotional bullying involves using ways to cause emotional hurt to another person which can include saying or writing hurtful things, inciting other people to share hatred for a person or forcing someone to do something against their will.
Furthermore, verbal bullying involves using any form of language to cause the other person distress. Examples include using profanities, hurtful language, negatively commenting on a person’s appearance, using derogatory terms, or teasing. Physical bullying always involves physical contact with the other person; this can mean physical altercation, but can also mean throwing items, tripping, or eliciting others to cause physical harm to a person. Sexual bullying as another type refers to any sort of bullying, done in any manner, that is related to a person’s gender or sexuality. Examples can include rape and sexual harassment. Workplace bullying is also there. The concept of bullying is quite multi-faceted, right?
Surprisingly, some of us could have bullies at certain points without even knowing it. According to the “University of the People’s blog post on Bullying”, more than one out of five students report being bullied in their lives. Also, bullied students reported that bullying occurred in the following places: 42% in the hallway or stairwell at school; 34% inside the classroom; 22% in the cafeteria; 19% outside on school grounds; 10% on the school bus and 9% in the bathroom or locker room.
However, bullying is an experience that stays with the bullied for a lifetime, if it doesn’t cost them their lives. Persons who were victims tend to suffer low-self-esteem, depression and might be traumatized.
Having explained different types of bullying beyond a narrow perspective, the onus is on every adult individual to determine never to be a bully in any form. However, a common mindset amongst teenagers and school students is that, ” it was done to me when I was in the junior class, I would do same or even more when I become a senior”. This way of thinking is responsible for the sustenance of bullying in the school system; as more students believe random bullying is rotational; and a victim could turn out to be the tormentor if not properly guided.
The family as the first custodian of a child’s socialization needs to pay more attention to this social malady. Bullying can be a result of a difficult home situation, emotionless behaviour or poor social skills right from the home front. A child who is raised to learn how to respect others and treat them with decency would most likely not tour the bullying path. Parents should do more by always appealing to the noble part of their children in asserting positivity. For instance, rather than refer to a child as an idiot, the parent can tell him “You are not an idiot, don’t behave as one”. In other words, remove labels and address behaviours. Labeling a child as a bully does not help the situation but tend to deepen the behaviour inside them. Teachers and parents should critically examine bullying behaviours instead of identifying who is a “bully”. By adopting this method, the child’s self-esteem remains intact, his social skills refined and he would learn to treat others better. Parents need to learn how to ask questions frequently and stay involved in their children or ward’s daily activities. Any complaint or grievance from the children should be taken seriously and not dismissed as a “normal casual act among children” which is often the case at the early stages of bullying.
After the family, the school comes next in the line of society shapers as they become the first avenue wherein the kid mixes with others and gets exposed to a variety of things. In as such, schools need to have policies in place and procedures that are enforced to instill an atmosphere that makes bullying unattractive and unsustainable; if not totally impossible. Bringing anti-bullying themed illustrations and demonstrations into every part of the curricula can also be of immense help. For example, language arts teachers can find required novels that give students empathy for others. Teachers are often busy, but if time is spent identifying warning signs of bullying and stopping these small behaviours right away, future distress can be avoided. Examples of gateway behaviours into bullying include harassing in public, veiled threats, mockery, name calling, ostracization among others. Unfortunately, some children are victims of chronic bullying, occurring multiple times a week. This is more common in elementary schools and can lead to missed class days. It is of utmost importance that schools step in and intervene in cases of chronic bullying to prevent long-term damage or extreme occurrences like the one that happened in Dowen college.
The school or classroom climate should be community-like. When students feel that their peers are part of their group or community, they will be less likely to bully and more likely to stand up to other students bullying and breaking apart the community they helped build. If anti-bullying is an integral part of school and classroom rules, there is likely to be better prevention of bullying in schools. Rules should be in positive terms, cover multiple scenarios, and be age-appropriate. When students do something bad, they are called out. When a student does something good, it is important to bring attention to that as well. This shows the classroom that bad attention isn’t the only type of attention. Sections of school, or certain sites that seem to have lots of bullying incidents should be identified and school staff should adequately monito the area. Likewise, communication is key with bullying prevention. When children feel like they can talk to adults in their community, they are more likely to report bullying, and to avoid bullying by working out their feelings verbally. Remember that every child will respond differently to being bullied, and when reprimanded for bullying.
Immediate actions should be taken if it is discovered that there is bullying happening at school. Either as a parent or teacher, steps must be taken to address it immediately and mot later. The situation should be dissected and all parties involved must be identified. The bullies should be properly guided and counselled with adequate mix of candour and affection to make them desist from the act. Extreme cases or recurring bullying could result in expulsion or suspension of the bully from the school if he proves unrepentant. The victims should be encouraged and rehabilitated; and proper monitoring should be on them to check progress.
Noteworthy is the fact that majority of students do not report bullying in schools to adults. This can be due to fear of retaliation, uncertainty about parent reaction, fear of being perceived as weak, a feeling that nothing can change the situation, or fears that the teacher or parent would worsen the situation. It can be difficult at times to know that your own child is being bullied, but with proper monitoring and close attention to the little details, it can be recognised.
There is also a reluctance to report witnessing bullying incidents among the children, for similar reasons. Reporting bullying will increase with anti-bullying programmes because students will feel more confident in their own abilities to intervene, and the abilities of the school to make a difference based on their reports.
Bullying is a niggling societal problem that requires long and consistent effort in order to keep it away or effectively minimise it from our school system. Some schools bring in social workers and have an anti-bullying assembly, or hold a bullying awareness week once a year. Such activities are non-existent in most schools however and even though they are good innovations; there needs to be more sustainable commitment and structures in place within our educational system program to create long-term solutions that will make the school environment safe and secure from bullies. Outrage and condemnation from parents, Lagos state government, religious organisations and the general public that trailed the Dowen case should not end up being knee-jerk cosmetic reactions for media reports alone; it has brought to the fore the ghastly havoc that unmitigated and extreme bullying can cause and lessons needs to be learnt from the unfortunate occurrence to avoid recurrences. It should lead to a holistic and critical re-assessment of the family system and school environment towards implementing conscious mechanisms which must be put in place to make the school more of a citadel of academic learning and gaining social knowledge; and less of a bullying arena.
